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#SoCS March 26/16 – Real or Imagined?

March 26, 2016

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt: Real


I have a confession to make – sometimes I don’t know what is real and what is imagined.

I could blame it on an over-active imagination. I definitely have one of those. Or, I could blame it on mental illness, which I also have. And yet, I wonder if it is either of those things. Perhaps I am just meant to live in a world of my own creation.

Now that’s not to say that I don’t recognize reality when it smacks me in the face. I’ve survived real situations throughout my life, some that have left deep scars upon my soul. I know what’s going on in the real world as I actively read and watch the news. And I am not schizophrenic, or at least not visually – I do hear voices.

What I mean by my confession is that when I get in that space, that creative place, I am there, in that created world. I am transformed through space and time, shuttled through some wormhole or cosmic tunnel and plopped down as an observer into that which exists in my mind. While I am there, I see all, hear all, become all. I lose track of time. I lose focus on my surroundings. It’s as if my mind has left my physical body. The real world is a million miles away.

Some say that this is what all writers do, but I am only me, so I don’t know if this is true. I’ve been told that I talk to myself, but maybe I am working out dialogue. I am told that I make funny gestures, but again, maybe I am acting out the scenes. I think that is what I am doing. It is the only explanation I can give. I don’t remember doing those things. I only remember the results – page after page of written work. Words that I barely remember writing. Whole passages of time wiped from my memory. At times, I don’t even remember sitting down to write.

And when I do come back to reality, I feel a sense of loss. Like I’ve forgotten something or left something behind. Something incredibly precious. And it makes me stop and wonder which world I really belong in – the world this physical body was born in, or the ones my mind has conjured up for me.

From → SoCS, Uncategorized

  1. I love this experience of total absorption. I do know when I’m speaking or gesturing in order to get something right, but the sense of everything around me disappearing and the feeling of loss when I make my exit from the “other world,” as well as the effort it takes to get out!! are very familiar. You’re not alone! πŸ˜€

    • Thank you, Linda πŸ™‚ So glad to know there are others out there with similar experiences πŸ™‚

  2. Great post, and I’m going to agree with others that this seems perfectly normal to me πŸ™‚
    Quite often I find whole streams of text that don’t sound like things I would write, and yet I did

    • Thank you, Ginni! It is definitely a strange thing to write stuff and not remember doing it. So glad to know I am not the only one who does that! Have a great Easter!

  3. I’m the same, when writing, or even reading a good book, that I’m so engrossed in it, nothing else exists for the time being. When you are in the so called ‘zone’ it is like that is a real place, with real people. Wonderful thoughts, Lori! πŸ™‚

    • Thank you, Barbara! Yes, a good book can get me in that space too. I am glad to know I am not alone in this πŸ™‚

  4. So beautiful reblogging! I adore you and your work. Hugs

  5. Reblogged this on Annette's place and commented:
    This is by my guest author because it is so beautiful and I cried. Many justay know how she feels. Great post!

  6. I understand and relate to much of this. Great use of the prompt.

    • Thank you, Joey πŸ™‚ nice to know I am not alone πŸ˜€

      • Do you know, I’ve just found out that you have two sorts of pages I read?!? I follow your Small Stones by email. I hadn’t realized this one was you as well! I think that counts extra, when I like both of the yous. ❀

      • Hahahaha.. that is too funny, Joey. I actually have 3 major blogs and a few other scattered ones πŸ˜€ Thank you for following my small stones πŸ™‚

      • My pleasure πŸ™‚

  7. This was excellent, and I’m going to send my readers over here.

    • Thank you, John! You are such a dear… I reblogged yours.. hope it brings a few more readers your way πŸ™‚

  8. I feel the same way sometimes too.

  9. That is profound writing Lori πŸ™‚

  10. Wow, this is excellent and very powerful! No wonder you are an excellent writer!

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. SoCS/real/thoughts | Annette's place
  2. 03.26.16 – End of Day Notes | As the Fates Would Have It
  3. Does Reality Ever Get You Down? #socs – The Sound of One Hand Typing

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