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A Night of Reckoning – #drabble

December 13, 2016

for FFfAW – Week of 12-13-16


This week’s photo prompt is provided by Maria with Doodles and Scribbles. Thank you Maria!

A Night of Reckoning


Belmont. Small town. Eerie darkness. Only a few street lights. Ghosts cling to the shadows. I walk up the street. A church bell rings. Midnight.

My friends had begged, “Meet us at the theater.”

It too is closed. I walk on. Past the deli, library, and shuttered police station. Deserted.

Footsteps follow me. Clop clop.

I turn. Nothingness.


My words echo back at me.

I continue on. Hurry toward the park.

More footsteps. Clop clop. Clop clop clop. Clop clop.

I can’t move. Frozen. A hand touches my shoulder. Bone against flesh. Icy grip.

I too meet my ending.

©2016 Lori Carlson. All rights reserved.

(100 words)

  1. *shivers*
    (That was so good!)

  2. Very spooky — what great tension! Now I wonder what happened to her friends… nothing good, I’d guess.

  3. Good one Lori, a bit grim but you created the tension very well.

  4. Ohh my goodness that ending! You really brought chills to my spine.

  5. Short sentence structure is very well done for a chilling effect.

  6. Oh, it gives me shivers! Nice sound effects, too.

  7. That was as edgy as they come.

  8. A very nicely told suspense flash fiction. Very thrilling. You had me at the edge of my seat.

  9. Wonderful story Lori, very chilling! You drew me into the story with the mystery and intrigue. NICE!

  10. Lynn Love permalink

    I like the snappy writing style – fits the story really well – and the feel of an eerie, deserted town is very good.

  11. Great story, Lori! A very eerie tale.

  12. Well done — moody and atmospheric.

  13. I like the pacing, and so eerie! good writing, Lori 🙂

  14. Great atmosphere and description. Could really feel the tension. Well done.

  15. I was on edge even before the footsteps – great description of a dark and deserted town!

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