#SoCS Oct 01/16– Awkwardly Me

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt: Awkward

I think I came out of the womb awkward. I know I spent my childhood feeling awkward around others, preferring to be off to myself doing my own thing, which usually involved living in my head. I never felt quite “right” around my siblings or my parents, and I had few friends in school because no one was as awkward as I was and therefore, in my reasoning, they wouldn’t understand. Of course, I know now why I’ve always felt this way, but as a child I hadn’t a clue. I just figured that I was too strange and bizarre for everyone else out there. I became quite the recluse and never quite outgrew that.

These days, I just keep to myself because I enjoy my own company and I don’t have to pretend to be someone else just to fit in. I have found a few others who are kind of awkward like me. We can sit in silence, with no awkwardness between us. Or discuss all things nerdy and geeky for hours. Still, I keep even these few at a distance.

Right now, I am feeling a bit awkward as I search for the words I want to express here. As a writer, it is hard for me to admit that my mind cannot grasp words and ideas and put them into some coherent post. Alas, this is now my reality. Time to take an awkward pause.