#SoCS May 7/16 – Apparently Not
for Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt: Apparent/a parent
Apparently everyone assumes I’m a parent, merely by my sex. Just being female equates you with motherhood. And it gets worse the closer one gets to Mother’s Day. They don’t realize the pain I endure when I hear those words, “Happy Mother’s Day.”
The relationship I had with my own mother was not good. In fact, most of the time it was horrible. There was very little happiness about it. And she’s been gone for 9 years, so there is no way to recover that relationship or make improvements on it.
But that’s not the only reason those words are bitter to me. I had the chance twice to be a mother, but it wasn’t meant to be. I lost both babies during my first trimesters and then after the second miscarriage, I was told I would probably never conceive again. Which I never did.
I won’t get rude or nasty if you wish my Happy Mother’s Day. But I may get quiet, very quiet. And if you write it to me. I would probably just relay it back, if you are female. Surprisingly enough, few males ever say those words to me. Maybe somehow they know. It’s not that the day is a bad one. It isn’t for many and neither should it be. It’s just apparently for me it is and so I generally keep my distance on that day so not to taint it for others.
Lori, not everyone is a mother, you’re right. Mothers day was very hard for me especially in the early years when all I wanted was to be one. It was never to be. Even treatment through a fertility clinic did not work. I’ll never forget one horrid incident when we’d only been married a couple of years and a rather nasty gentleman very rudely wanted to know why we had no kids yet. I equally as rudely told him it was none of his business. I think he was quite taken aback, getting that from a minister’s daughter. Of course we did go on to adopt two gorgeous kids from overseas. Every mother’s day I send a silent prayer of thanks and love to the two mothers who loved their children so much they were able to let them go for others to raise. I send you a heartful of love too, Lori, just because… and because you are a good friend xx
Thank you for sharing your story with me, Raili. I would have loved to have been a fly somewhere to see that rude man’s reaction *laughs* And thank you for the love, my friend! *hugs*
He certainly wasn’t expecting it. Neither was I – caught me at the wrong (or right!) moment.
*laughs* some jerks deserve what they get 😀