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#SoCS March 12/16 – On Dropping the Ball

March 12, 2016

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt: Ball


I remember the first time I dropped the ball, literally. It was in 9th grade and our gym class was playing tag football. I just happened to be in the right spot to receive the ball. Not my normal position. It came toward me so fast and suddenly that I didn’t have time to think, nor react. I just caught it. And then I dropped it. I was tackled by three large teammates and hustled to the ground. All three piled on top of me as I recovered the ball. All was not lost, but I was badly bruised for days. This was supposed to have been a non-contact game.

My life has been a series of catches, stumbles, near-fumbles and recoveries. Two bad marriages, two miscarriages, too many lovers and lost loves to even count anymore, and way too many pile-ups that have left me badly beaten and bruised. There have been many times that I’ve just said “to hell with it all” and grabbed my little red ball and went home. There have also been times when I’ve said “fuck it” and spiked the ball, nearly ending it all.

Somehow, some way, by some mysterious hand, I’ve always recovered. Not always stronger mentally than before, but a good deal of the time more resilient than the time before. Even during my darkest moments, a voice within me has said “Giving in is giving up. You are not a quitter!” Thank goodness I’ve continued to listen to that voice. I am sure this game of tag football will continue until my dying breath, but I hope that up ’til the end, I will continue to recover and not give in.

From → SoCS, Uncategorized

  1. “Quitters never win and winners never quit” is a saying that stayed with me since elementary school. We just have to be careful that the game we’re playing is worth the blood, sweat & tears…I know this from experience. Glad to hear you “recovered the ball.”

  2. Thank goodness you never gave in to the darkness. Keep the positive voices at the forefront, always. xo

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