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366 Days of Writing Prompts – Day 72

March 12, 2016

Erasure

You have the choice to erase one incident from your past, as
though it never happened. What would you erase and why?

I would erase answering the phone the day my sister called to ask me to go on a blind date with the man who would eventually become my first husband. Andy was a guy who worked with my brother-in-law and they brought him in with them from NC to meet a mutual friend of ours. She was adamant about not going out with him, so my sister called me and I reluctantly agreed to go.

By erasing that moment, the following never happened:

  1. I never met Andy, never went on a date with him, never slept with him
  2. I never went to NC and spent a summer with him nor broke up with him that August
  3. I never returned home to Virginia and met David. Although, if I had remained in Virginia, I would have probably met David sooner, and we may have actually had a real chance.
  4. But I never met David and wasn’t devastated when he decided that he didn’t want to marry me after all. There was no Andy for me to return to, I never agreed to marry him, never got pregnant, never had a miscarriage, and never left that marriage 7 months later – broken and abused.
  5. And finally, I never met Jim because I never left Andy. Jim, the one man I have not been able to get out of my life since the day I met him. The one man that I have loved for nearly thirty years but have never been able to remain with. Every time I have gotten too close, he has pushed me away, only to be there with wide-open arms again when my life has fallen apart, and then again pushed me away. So none of that happened either.

I wonder what kind of life I would have led without all of that happening. What kind of woman would I have been without the devastation of those 3 events tied to that one damn phone call? Would I have gone to college? Would I have settled down, married a decent man and had children? Would mental illness never have hit me in my late 20s?

And yet, the people who are important to me now are all a direct result of that fateful phone call. So I am better off having lived through all of that than to not have those people in my life now.

How about you, dear readers? If you could erase one moment in your life, would you? Share your thoughts with me in comments.

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6 Comments
  1. I suppose life’s a package stamped Do Not Return to Sender.

  2. Fully agree with the last paragraphs. I am happy with where my life is now. Were anything from my past altered, my present would be different. I cannot despise my past and love my present as the two are too closely linked.

  3. Circles and roundabouts. Great learnings 🙂 I can’t think of a thing I would want to change. For the reasons you state in your last paragraph 🙂

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