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Out of Charge – #Drabble

March 4, 2016

for Friday Fictioneers


PHOTO PROMPT © Sean Fallon

Out of Charge

Day 21. Dr. Langston is acting weird ever since we brought up the ice samples. Keeping an eye on him.

Day 45. Dr. Langston smashed up the lab. Resetting computers.

Day 60: The virus has affected all of us now, not just Langston. We cannot concentrate on the work.

Day 90: Langston has gone completely insane. He has locked up everything. Equipment. Fuel. Jars and jars of batteries. We have no support left. This is my last message before…

The commander listened to the logs. Five scientists. All dead. Frozen to death. Venus expedition was a bust.

©2016 Lori Carlson. All rights reserved.

(100 words)

  1. “Perfect blend of suspense, tension, and what happens next.,” she said. “The journal style was a brilliant way to tell the story,” she added, very impressed.

  2. gahlearner permalink

    Yay, they found a virus on Venus! Oops, I should be sorry for the poor guys. 😉 There’s so much more in this story, I love it.

    • Thanks dear.. yeah, there was a ton more, but I had to scale it down. Glad you enjoyed it anyway 🙂

  3. Dear Lori,

    The journal approach worked well, Good job editing.



  4. Nice to read a bit of sci-fi.

    • Thank you, dear 🙂 I try to write it as much as possible for this flash fiction pieces because I am working on a mystery as my main project write now and miss the sci-fi writing 🙂

  5. Good bit of editing, getting that down from 500 words. Well done.

  6. I like the structure of the writing. The day to day entires. Great suspense.
    I wondered about the ice samples. You brought it all together at the end.
    Great write …!!!
    Isadora 😎

    • Thank you, Isadora 🙂 I wasn’t sure I had conveyed the full focus of the story. It started out as over 500 words and I had to greatly condense it.

  7. love the format of your story and the story itself. What an imaginative tale!

  8. Moral, remember the log, leave the ice samples on Venus.

  9. I loved the photo and the title of your post.

  10. Scary sci-fi story. Well done.

  11. jellico84 permalink

    Oooo, liked the suspense there.

  12. The perils of space exploration…
    I like the format of a science log.

    • Thank you, dear.. I wasn’t as fond of this one.. it started out as 500 words and was difficult to dwindle down to make sense.

  13. Oh no, the poor guy went crazy!

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