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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 56

February 25, 2016

Cliché

Clichés become clichés for a reason. Tell us about the last
time a bird in the hand was worth two in the bush for you.

I don’t necessarily consider this a cliché, but it is an old proverb. One that I once knew the meaning of, but have long since forgotten. So I looked it up:

Meaning

It’s better to have a lesser but certain advantage than the possibility of a greater one that may come to nothing.

Origin

This proverb refers back to medieval falconry where a bird in the hand (the falcon) was a valuable asset and certainly worth more than two in the bush (the prey).

For me, the year was 2001. I was growing weary of not making a life for myself with someone else. A strange concept to me now, because I feel perfectly okay with living a solitary lifestyle now. But at the time, I still believed that you needed a partner to feel complete. Such a silly notion!

I had a few prospects: a truck driver from Oklahoma, a nurse, and an Iranian who deemed himself madly in love with me and would shower me with anything my heart desired, but only if I would convert to Islam to be his bride.

At the time, I was madly in love with the nurse. She was a close friend and my lover. I would have done anything for her. The Iranian was persistent, sending me flowers to my job, offering to buy me a new car (he owned a successful car dealership), and offering to buy me a new house (when I married him, of course). The truck driver was a new addition. I’d met him online in an AOL chat room. We’d spoken on the phone a couple of times, exchanged emails, and met once. He too was persistent, but a modest man with modest means. Both the nurse and the Iranian had a good deal of financial wealth. Eventually, the nurse left my life to pursue other things. She’d just ended one marriage and besides seeing me, she was also dating a man whom she’d cheated on her husband to be with. She’d had a previous marriage with 2 kids and she wanted to get her kids back. An alternative, bisexual relationship would not be seen appropriate. A delicate, sticky situation. So we parted ways. This left the two persistent men.

As an independent, free-spirited woman who’d always balked at anything strict and full of rules, I guess you can imagine who I turned down. Yes, the Iranian. Although he could have given me everything I’d hoped for in life, the one thing he could never give me was my spiritual freedom. Plus, I was not in love with him. At all. Not even a little.

I wouldn’t say that I settled for the trucker. I am sure I could have found someone else if I had continued to search, but I did not. Although my heart belonged to the nurse, I knew she would never be apart of my life again. I slowly released her and opened my heart to the trucker. He was a good guy, or so it seemed at the time. He was generous and trusting.  I allowed this trucker to prove to me that he would be a good partner. We married later that year on Halloween. The marriage lasted 13 years. It was a stormy one for the better part of the last 9 years. But I never wanted for anything. He was a good provider, gave me my spiritual freedom, but by this time, I was sinking into severe mental illness and it affected our marriage greatly. Plus, he is a narcissist, something that I didn’t know at the beginning of the marriage. I wouldn’t say that I wasted 13 years with him though, but I definitely learned that I didn’t need a partner to be fulfilled. All I truly needed was to love ME and be happy with ME and all else would fall into place.

How about you, dear readers? Ever had a situation where “a bird in the hand was worth two in a bush?” Share your thoughts with me in comments.

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2 Comments
  1. Life takes interesting twists and turns, that’s for sure. Your last sentence sums it up so beautifully 🙂

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