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To Be Sane or Insane?

January 10, 2016

for JusJoJan – Prompt: Sane


 

“Don’t you want to be sane?” the therapist asks me.

“And conform like everyone else? No way!” I reply.

Yes, I’ve had that conversation more times than I care to admit over the past fifteen or so years. I had a stretch from 2004 until 2013 where I felt completely INsane. I was definitely not in my right mind or had a very sound mind for that matter. It wasn’t even so much that I enjoyed being INsane, but it did give me a chance to be unique and not “normal.”

Normal, like sane, is a word that I’ve never cared much for either. Both words remind me of conformity, being herded like sheep. And as a creative type, I would much rather die than follow any herd of sheep or lemmings over a cliff.

Although I am less INsane these days, I am still not completely sane either. I still do odd things sometimes that many people would consider locking me up for. For instance, I talk to myself… a lot! However, when I am doing it, I am usually working out scenes in a story, talking out dialogue or communing with my muse, Catharine, but if someone entered the room and did not know this… yep, she’s certifiable and in need of a straight jacket! I will also sit for long periods of time and just stare off into space. Some would label that odd and not at all sane. It’s how I recharge my brain though if I am overwhelmed by too much data entering it, which happens frequently.

So, to be sane or insane? I still prefer my daily doses of insanity now and again. Not even sure I would know what it is like to be sane, or that I would be sane if I had to be. I just enjoying being me.


 

If you’d like to join in with the JusJoJan, see the rules here

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7 Comments
  1. I suspect sanity isn’t all it’s “cracked up” to be. Otherwise, why would I have chosen INsanity (love the spelling) since childhood? No one, (in their right mind?) has ever called me normal. I’m learning to brace unique as positive not negative.
    Makes me think of Joni Mitchell’s “Twisted” “Ah . . . my just jot — thanks!

  2. Being INsane at the level at which you can choose how much to reveal and change and conform is absolutely the perfect level of INsanity.
    Normal is bleh.

  3. I often think we attach too much meaning to particular words, and that we’re socialized to do so. For example, normal only means conformity because we want to feel that there is something unique about us. And there is. πŸ™‚

    For me, I think about normal as not being so much about people as about schedules and routines and non-personal stuff like that. Sanity and insanity are a continuum. We all are somewhere along that line, but it changes minute to minute.

    Unfortunately, I think therapists get caught up in trying to find the right “category” to put people in on a given day. They can’t help it. But when I understand it, it makes it easier for me not to take their labeling too seriously. πŸ˜‰

    • Great comments, Deborah… I know my therapists and my psych docs were always trying to pigeon-hole me into their little boxes. I am sure it drove them insane when I rejected all of their labels..ha!

      • haha! I like the idea of you contributing to their sanity continuum sliding. πŸ˜‰

      • Yes yes… part of my charm… ha! And possibly why I went through so many therapists and psych docs πŸ˜€

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