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April PAD Challenge — Day Fourteen

April 14, 2015

Prompt: Two for Tuesday — write an “honest” poem/write a “dishonest” poem

Moments of (dis)Honesty

I was never in love with you
not one day, or even a minute
not the day we finally met
face to face — previous time
spent on the net or phone —
not the day you moved in
not even on our wedding day

I was in love with an idea
every girl’s fantasy–
a husband that provided
the white picket fence
a dog and a couple of cats
although not the 2.5 children
no, never that
(that was your fantasy)

And I stayed 13 years
chasing the ghost
of my childhood daydreams
praying through isolated days
and long deserted nights
begging through drunken tirades
and tear-filled “make-up” sex
screaming through mind-game craze
and your twisted narcissistic rage
How was I to know
you would instead be
my adulthood nightmares?

But in all honesty,
I remained all of those years
because we’d both had failed marriages
and I didn’t want to admit
ours had failed too

©April 2015, Lori Carlson

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