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30 Day Blog Challenge — Day One

April 1, 2015

Day One — Introduction

I never was very good at introductions. It’s like beginning a conversation with a stranger. Do I make small talk, chat about the weather or tell generalized versions of myself? No matter what I say, it will sound contrived. So let’s begin anyway, shall we?

Hi, I am Loretta or Lori. I answer to both. Loretta is my given name after the country singer, Loretta Lynn–my father’s idea. I never really cared for the name because I was teased mercilessly in school because of it. It took me years to realize that when someone called me the coal miner’s daughter, it was because of my namesake. I usually retorted that no, I was the rubber maker’s daughter, since my dad worked in a rubber plant. That generally got me weird stares. Thankfully when I was in college, one of my new friends there decided to call me Lori and the name stuck. I prefer it even though my hometown friends and most of my family still call me Loretta. So if you really want to get on my good side, call me Lori.

I am 48, separated since October 2014, with no children. I never wanted children and I am glad I never had any. I say it was a godsend, or perhaps retribution. One never really knows about those things and I try not to dwell upon it. I just know I am not mommy material. I tend to be selfish with my time and that is no way to be with children. I do have some wonderful nieces and nephews (and a few grands) and although I haven’t spent a great deal of time in their lives, I do love them in my own way. I’ve never spent a great deal of time in anyone’s life but my own, and I am not afraid to admit that.

I am a writer of poetry, short fiction, creative essays, novelettes and the occasional attempt at novel writing. I dabble with art, mostly collages, water colors, acrylics and sketching. I also crochet when the whim hits me. I love reading science fiction, mysteries, thrillers, biographies and poetry. When I was a child, my favorite books were gothic novels written in the 60s and 70s. You could always spot a gothic novel at a glance: a scary castle, a frightened woman and usually a cliff overlooking the ocean were on the cover of every novel. I couldn’t get enough of them. Jane Eyre is probably my all time favorite novel. Ender’s Game comes in at a close second. I enjoy most music with the exception of modern Country and most Rap. Alternative Rock, Heavy Metal and Classical are my faves though. My favorite artists/bands are Neil Diamond, Prince, George Strait, Melissa Etheridge, Indigo Girls, k.d. lang, Simply Red, Linkin Park, Distrubed, Apocalyptica, Slipknot, and Type O Negative. Quite eclectic huh? There are others, of course, but those are my go-to sounds when I need to relax.

I tend to say that all of my life, I’ve walked the middle path. I am the middle child of three kids. I practice Buddhism (after years of searching spiritually) which is called the Middle Path, and politically, I am an Independent, which could be considered the middle path in politics since it is neither left nor right. I am, however, very liberal… one of those bleeding heart liberals. What I don’t do is attempt to force my beliefs on others. I believe we all have the right to chose whatever path or side which rings true with our own moral compasses. So long as no one tries to force their beliefs on me, I am a go-along-to-get-along type of person.

I am an introvert, but not shy. I just prefer my own company to others. I am fine in small groups, but I get panic attacks in large group settings. I would chose an evening at a bookstore or coffee shop over a bar or night club, the opera or theater over a concert (unless it was someone I couldn’t resist seeing), and a walk along the beach or in the mountains to a rowdy cityscape, although I’ve lived in a couple small cities (Roanoke VA and Tulsa OK). I cherish a few close friends but have tons of acquaintances, mostly on social media. I am a difficult person to get to know because I do not share intimacies easily with strangers. I have Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, OCD and a host of phobias. Because of these, I tend to be moody, melancholy and often misunderstood. I’ve also endured a lot of tragedies in my life, so I have trust issues.

Well, as far as introductions go, I guess this one isn’t so bad. I don’t want to reveal too much about myself here because in the upcoming days, there will be more mysteries about myself to share. Tomorrow, I will be sharing 20 Facts About Myself. I hope you will join me for those.

  1. Wow I also have Bipolar Disorder. I’ve had it all my life but diagnosed age sixteen. I don’t have trust issues the opposite I am too open. It can get you into trouble if you are open with too many people. I have a lot of good friends with mental illness so I have more people that understand. I love kids. But not sure I will be stable enough to be a good father and having kids is pressure and stress not good for my Bipolar which is fragile. I am not ruling it out though I love kids.

    • I’ve probably had it all my life too. I suspect my mom did as well. I wasn’t diagnosed though until I was in my 30s. Sadly, I had a few friends who were also Bipolar, but we kept triggering one another and had to end our friendships. Kids… always a touchy subject with me.. I am glad I never had any. To pass this along to another generation would be a tragedy for me. I wish you well on your decision though.

      • Yea I prob wont have them because of stress and pressure. I have to take care of myself. Yea me too I have had trouble with some friends who were also Bipolar. We just couldn’t be there for each other had so much deal with too hard to help each other. One girl was a great friend but she was jealous of my friend Rita I wrote stories about. She asked me if I was in love with Rita. I told her no but she kept telling me I did so I moved on I didn’t need negativity. Girls can get confused but you can love someone without it being romantic feelings. Rita is married and we are just friends.

      • Sounds like that friend of yours was jealous.. good thing you moved on. Some people just find it hard to believe that you can have a platonic relationship with the opposite sex.

      • I tell you the truth having a romantic relationship with Rita wouldn’t feel right it would be uncomfortable because it’s a rare special kind of relationship. She is the most beautiful woman I have seen but just couldn’t be in a relationship with her. We go back many years. Yea Ashley was jealous and it was best to nip it in the bud before it got worse.

      • I’ve had a few relationships like that too… enjoyed the deep friendship over anything romantic that could or might have happened.

      • Yea I love the deep friendship it’s a beautiful thing.

  2. My head is bursting with short story ideas for the A-Z Challenge, and I’ll certainly be back see what’s going on here!

  3. Hi Lori! I love to write short stories too. I am looking forward to reading a few of yours here. Good luck on the A-Z challenge.

    • Thank you, Kristine! I look forward to reading your short stories as well. Thanks for stopping by and good luck on the A-Z Challenge too πŸ™‚

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. 30 Day Blog Challenge, days 7-9 | In My Parlor
  2. As if I need more to distract me in April | In My Parlor

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