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Apirl’s PAD — Day Nineteen

April 20, 2014

prompt: pick a color, make it your title, write the poem


**Caution: this poem contains details of cutting and suicide remarks.



You are at it again — carving up
your legs like plots to plant in
and painting your arms crimson
And look where you’ve landed
across the hall from me again

I told you more than once
they don’t understand bloodletters
Why go through all that trouble
all that blood if you don’t want to die?
They think they understand suicide
–poor shattered soul
but they don’t understand anything
there is no choice — only death
not a matter of if, but when

But this isn’t about me
you crashed and burned
in so much pain, oh the pain!
razor sharp, you inhaled
and cut — crimson assured you
and again and again
’til all the pain bled out
then you passed out from the release

And lo and behold here you are
all bandaged up — force-fed pills
’til you are numb, so numb
a three day stay max
and they will fill your head with shame
’til you say you will never do it again
but you know that is all lies
They don’t understand the addiction

O my dear, some day I shall leave you
and you will suffer here alone
but perhaps you will cross over
that final release — and join me
and we will be free of pain and blood


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  1. although the topic is saddening. my dear, you write so beautifully. Keep holding on, love ❤

    • Thank you so much.. writing is my therapy. I am pleased that you’ve read me and for your kind comments.

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